We have a faithful God. Do we? Do we really believe that? Most of the time, we proclaim a resounding “Yes!” But then stuff happens. Life happens. Do we have a faithful God when everything is falling apart? Do we have a faithful God when our dreams aren’t fulfilled? Do we?
I’ve had one of those weeks. I had a miscarriage last week. I think it should hurt to write it, but it seems this week has been more mind-numbing. That’s almost worst. Last week, before we knew for sure, I suspected. I got into the van one day and turned it on to hear “Blessed Be Your Name” by Matt Redman. It has a line from Job in it. “You give and take away. My heart will choose to say: Lord blessed be your name.” It was a clear direct line to my heart as I heard God ask, “Will you? Will you bless me regardless of what happens?” I choose yes. Even “when there’s pain in the offering.”
So is God faithful? I say yes. I don’t have answers to why anything happens. It doesn’t feel good. But yes, he’s faithful, and he’s good. That’s all I know. I’ve been listening to this song by Chris Tomlin on repeat this week:
“I will sing to the maker of heaven and earth
God you reign forever, and your love will endure
Faithful and True is the Name of the Lord
You are faithful God
You are there in every season of my soul
You are there – you’re the anchor that will hold
You are there, in the valley of the shadow
You are faithful God”
I don’t have any answers for why painful things happen. But I do know from experience that he is good and faithful. To prove it to myself, I decided to start listing. Feel free to read along if you like, but these are mostly reminders for me of what He has done. They are in no particular order, except just the order they entered my mind.
1. As a kid, we didn’t have enough money for the mortgage one month. Came home from somewhere to find the exact amount in an envelope tucked into the door. (Heard this from my parents as a child, and I still think of it every time the issue of God taking care of his children comes up.)
2. My baby had to have emergency surgery when she was 3 weeks old. Everything went amazingly well, and we had provisions that we needed.
3. When we moved to Oregon in 2006 we literally moved without the money to do it. We were simply following what God told us to do. Somehow, the money was there when we needed it – even though we had several hundred dollars stolen.
4. When I was 17, my parents and sisters and I were traveling by boat to Pikangikum, Ontario. The rapids were too high, our boat flipped midway through the rapids. We all came out of an event unscathed that should have been disastrous.
5. When I was in Jerusalem, my friend and I were out walking in the Muslim Quarter of the Old City when riots and shooting broke out nearby. (Not a good place for Americans to be.) Two soldiers grabbed us along with a few others and took us to a safe place to wait until it was safe again.
6. There are countless times when I’ve had a difficult or challenging day, where I felt His presence, and He simply gave me his peace.
7. He gave me a new name: Hephzibah – which means “my delight is in her.”
8. While in Jerusalem, I kept waking up automatically around 5:30AM – which was a little annoying. Then one morning, read Isaiah 50:4 – “The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.” I thought that was interesting… maybe that’s why I’ve been waking up early? That same day, I received a letter from my mom (which had been sent over a week before) that included a statement that “Daddy told me to give you this verse” – Isiah 50:4. God is waking me up to listen to Him? Now that will make you pay attention!
9. When I pay attention, he will give me His words in my mouth, for any situation.
10. He has provided me with a good husband and 4 beautiful children.
11. He speaks. Sometimes loudly, most of the time whispering. But his voice is always there when I take time to listen.
12. He gives wisdom and insight into difficult situations.
I could go on… but my laptop is about to die. One other song that’s been playing on repeat this week:
“And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?